what lies beyond the dream?

what is it about canvas 2's ending that makes me so... sad?

i dont know what's going on anymore, in reality, in my mind, in... everywhere.

something is not _right_
never mind the japanese desire for incest and lolitas.
i just feel that... something is not right.
is it just the fact that it's ending that depresses me?
when people finally find the happiness they seek...
the stories... just... end.

on friday, which would be 2 days ago, i guess.
i ran into this... weirdest... most bizarre... thing.
its not in my ability to describe what it is
but i can _try_ to describe how it happened.

i boarded the bus, you know, usual shit to go to school.
and there was this asian girl, sitting very close to the front.
with BRIGHT PURPLE HAIR.
i mean, im like a closet anime otaku, right?
this kind of thing should be usual for me.
i thought to myself "should be a wig, should be a wig, should be a wig..."
and sat 3 rows behind her. behind this caucasian dude.
as if that wasnt bizarre enough

she started taking off her shirt.

i shit you not. i was wondering why the caucasian dude was looking so fervently at the floor.
as she rolled up her sleeves.

and in my moment of carelessness, weakness,
it was like a pre-emptive attack on my soul
and i caught a glimmer of the skin on her shoulders, an ordinary bra strap going over her shoulders, to......

and there were about 7 people on the bus.
the caucasian dude was looking down.
and i was fascinated with how my shoelaces can become so... so... untied!
as i busied myself with tying more shoelaces.
and she sits there, in her undies, for like 2 minutes.
while we were on the road to school.

when we reached school, she put on her sweatshirt.
and i left the bus.

weird.