what lies beyond the dream?

amanda still hasnt sent me pics of pocky yet. =/

and my own pocky was found to be under my bed. amusing.

anyways, blogging now because i am pissed off.
at what, you ask...
at completely nothing at all.
which is what absolutely totally amazes me.

yesterday just before i went to bed at 3am
i was terribly depressed. suicidally.
i felt like disappearing. i really did.
to stay in bed all day. and not go to school.
but once i woke up it felt like a thing of yesterday
the "in" thing today is anger.

even though technically 3am is the same day.

i dont know why i got so pissed
there was a stack of dishes in the sink.
but that happens all the time, so why was i so pissed?
and it all boiled down to the one reason i knew i didnt.
i was pissed because i dont know why i was pissed.......?
no that didnt make sense either.

argh. i meant to blog about something more serious today actually.
tomorrow is thursday. marking (almost) the end of the week.
homeworks are slowly finding their way online into my schedule
its time to start getting busy. at last.

i was thinking of writing an argumentative last night.
with regards to the gathering of primary school classmates.
i'll write it here first, i guess, and if need be post it on the class blog.
since no one reads anything here anyways.

How do you see life? Is it a dream?
In one of the less romantic analogies of life, it is seen as a long winding road full of forks. Forks that might have already been there before you were born. Forks that were made in your life by the people around you. Forks that you make for yourself. And everytime you come to a fork, you're forced to make a decision in order to move on. But my purpose here is not to tell you about life, nor to tell you which fork you take.
This argument merely exists to remind you to take another look at the decisions you can make before you make them. That is all.

First of all, to those who have not been attending class gatherings, it is your choice. As long as you feel that you have made the right choice, then everything is fine. Whether you have to attend family functions, shower your beloved with care and attention, take your dog to the vet, go to the dentist, commit arson, assassinate high ranking officers, sit at home and watch tv, whatever. Remember, you weighed out their worth and followed the path down what you thought is worth more to you, thats all. Others cant make that decision for you, only you can. Don't let others decide what's worth more for you either, and dont be bothered about what others think of your choice. It is your choice afterall.

To those who have been, it's a little unfair, isnt it? Turnout has been low ever since 1999, as people just lose their motivations to attend gatherings. But look at it from another perspective, people are not turning up simply because they choose not to. Why? because there's no one for them to talk to! Simple as that.

im bored. lost motivation. _might_ continue some other day. =/

the mystery of the disappearing pocky